Thursday, April 19, 2007

A very tough day today.

It was on a Thursday two years ago that our old life ended. It was a rather innocent life, we had not really lost anyone close and the world was ours. One page at work from Ball High, one dreadful 45 minute drive to the UTMB ER and that was lost.

You cannot describe this kind of pain. Dark, dark, primitive pain.

We made noises, wails, that we had never made. We could not see due to the rivers of tears, our knees buckled and we shook.

Only through the support of people that we love did we survive that.

They fed us, they called us, they kept telling us that we would survive this and joy would again reenter our lives. To be honest, I did not believe them. Part of me wanted to leave everything behind because every reminder was just so painful.

But they were right. There is still a hole where a teenager should be, that will never go away. But there are new sources of light, new joys and challenges. Life is satisfying again, but we savor it like a fine meal. We treat it as if it could end at a moments notice and we want to squeeze every ounce out of it.

We are reminded of our girl constantly, and we cherish those moments. Every once in a while we get a gift, like the photo that I attached. I found it today.....a photo that we have not studied and tried to burn into our memory. This is from her school trip in 7th grade, which we ar so thankful that she took.

All of those kids are grown, driving, making adult decisions....sometimes living with adult consequences. We wonder aloud about what she would be into, what car she would be driving, where she would have gone to college.
We'll never know these things.
We will know that every day is a gift, we are not entitled to anything, and that the only thing that gives life value is the love that exists in it.


Anonymous Charles F. said...

We love y'all very much, whenever there is a need in your life, let us know, we'll do our best to help fill it!

I'd like to say that picture is beautiful. Not because of the White House, not because of the kids, not because of the beautiful day...... It's beautiful because if you look at it, you'll notice those kids are all in the group picture but they're "standing alone" to take the picture. But if you look at the center bottom, Ashlyn and her friends are close and tight together making sure the world knows they're friends! Just another subtle reminder of how close everyone could be with that beautiful young lady at all times of her life!

8:43 PM  
Blogger gtownbrown said...

Team Jola is an amazing force of aloha. Ashlyn's stoke lives on, especially through all of you! Thanks for all that you've done for me and my family.

4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey it's amber-

I miss ya'll so much. I need to come visit. I'm getting my car soon, as my graduation present. I really wish ya'll could of been there. I invited ash to my graduation party even though I know she wasn't getting on myspace, I guess its the fact that I really wanted her to be with me when I walked across the stage. I know she was at my party because when I walked in my room and went to look for a candle her picture fell on top of my head and it was completely untouched, I think she just wanted to laugh at the fact that she just knocked me out. Anyways I just wanted to let ya'll know I miss ya'll so much and I hope to see ya'll soon. Kiss the baby for me!! Keep in touch.

Cell- 832-258-4994


1:56 PM  
Blogger surfert2008 said...

you two are the most amazing people ever
i'm glad i got to see you and JP
she is gorgeous

3:14 PM  
Blogger Steve and Ismari said...

Thank you for last Saturday. It was a special day for our family. We were pleased to be a part of Ashyln's Grom Roundup. It was a day of family, love, and friendship. We are so thankful to have made new friends and to have grown closer together as a family. Thank you for performing such a great service to our community and for having so much love in your heart.


Steve, Ismari, Isaac, Maile Richardson

11:05 AM  

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